


What's Wrong? (I Can't Tell You)

by livvielovescats



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Crying, F/M, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Lesbian Character, Sorry if there's mistakes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-01
Updated: 2017-08-01
Packaged: 2018-12-09 22:20:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11678250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livvielovescats/pseuds/livvielovescats
Summary: You ended up sleeping in his arms.You didn't tell him.Mc has dealt with feeling disgusted with herself because of her surroundings while she was young. Now she doesn't know how to tell the only close person to her, Zen, what is wrong.





	What's Wrong? (I Can't Tell You)

**Author's Note:**

> This is me kind of venting so enjoy my angst

Why did you think this way? 

Going out with Zen made for the best time in your life. You always had fun and you cared for him deeply, but you couldn't help feel strange whenever another woman was around. You brushed it off as jealousy and being protective of Zen. But soon you started to feel differently about your conclusion. 

This had happened another time in your life, way back when you were just fifteen. Then you had started going to an all girls high school.

"She shouldn't be around boys," your father had said to your grandmother. You had felt lost the following years. You knew no one, and every time you made eye contact with another girl you looked away quickly. 

You told yourself that you were just bad at making friends. 

-

You were sitting with Zen on his couch, an arm wrapped around your shoulders, a new movie playing on screen. Although it wasn't one of Zen's, you felt captivated. Maybe because of one of the main leads. He was good looking and appealing to the eye. 

Though, as soon as the woman character played, her hair long and soft, her body clothed in a skin tight suit, and her eyes absolutely captivating, you couldn't help the dread you felt. 

You made yourself look back to the man on screen and felt like you did when you were young.

-

You remember being young, you and your father were sitting near the TV. The memory was a bit hazy but you understood what was going on. Father was channel surfing and he happened to stop on a program showing two women. 

At first it seemed like the TV was portraying a regular female and female friendship. But the two women were obviously shown as more, they started to kiss. 

You looked at your father. He made a disgusted face and quickly changed the channel. You grew up to think that that kind of thing was bad. 

That you were bad. 

-

You and Zen were going out for your weekly date. It was fun as usual. He always described his love for you as having butterflies in his heart and stomach, you said you felt the same.  
But you remember. You remember that feeling very well, you had those feelings for someone else. Someone that was very much a woman. 

But of course you love Zen, you knew that very well. So you pushed those feelings down where you could hide them. From Zen. 

From yourself. 

-

You were lying in bed one night, you could feel tears forming in your eyes. You didn't want to be like what your father talked bad about, or what the girls in you school had made fun of other girls for. Those thoughts stuck to you throughout the years. 

It's easy to start to hate yourself, but its hard to start to love yourself again. 

You could hear the front door unlock and open and soon enough the voice of Zen. He walked into the bedroom and started to ask about your day. You put your head under the covers. You didn't want him to see you cry, but soon enough you could feel your chest compress and a sob about to come.

When it did come you heard a confused sound and then a gasp. Why did you have to cry now? 

You felt the bed shift and an arm come from beside you, pulling you into a hug. You heard the question, "Honey, what's wrong?"

You choked out another cry, the first time in awhile that you allowed yourself to do this. You ended up sleeping with him holding you. 

You didn't tell him what was wrong.

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't grammar check this so if you notice mistakes please tell me, also, comments are much more appreciated than kudos. I always want tips to help improve my writing.


End file.
